You need a break too.

Most family caregivers I meet are not looking for a vacation. They're looking for three hours to go to their own doctor, or an afternoon where nobody needs anything from them, or one night away without lying awake wondering how it's going at home.

That's what respite is. Somebody reliable steps in so you can step out.

What respite looks like

• Spouse relief. I stay with your husband or wife while you get out of the house for a few hours.
• Relief for adult children. Cover while you work, travel, or simply rest.
• Regular scheduled breaks. The same afternoon every week, so it's something you can plan your life around.
• Occasional coverage. A one-off when something comes up.

While I'm there it isn't just supervision. We'll do something worth doing: a puzzle, a walk, lunch, sorting through photographs, or a proper meal cooked and put in the refrigerator so dinner is handled when you get back.

Why caregivers put this off

Two reasons, usually. The first is guilt, and the second is the fear that a stranger will unsettle the person they're caring for.

On the first: you can't pour from an empty cup, and the person you're caring for would almost certainly not want your health to be the price of theirs.

On the second, that's a fair worry, and it's why the first visit is an introduction rather than a handover. You're there. Nothing is sprung on anybody. If it isn't a good fit, we stop, and there's no minimum term to work around.

What I do and don't do

I provide non-medical companion care. That means company, meals, light housekeeping, errands and transportation. I don't administer medication, provide nursing care, or help with bathing, dressing or toileting. If the person you're caring for needs that level of support while you're away, they need a licensed home health agency, and I'll tell you so plainly.

What it costs

$30 an hour, two-hour minimum. No minimum term and no notice period to stop.

See full rates →